To a better life ahead.

So yes, much has changed (again) since my last post and most of it is for the better.

I finally found a job! Though it isn't exactly my "dream job", I'm trying to work my way out of having high expectations that reality can't fulfil. Instead of wishing, I'm going to just work it as the day goes and hopefully be committed to what I'm about to venture in.

Also, in other good news, I've been pampering myself for weeks on end, so much so that my expanding waistline has indeed, grown rather exponentially. I'm hoping that by June, I'll be back to my pre-work weight and will feel a lot more confident.

But before that, I'm gonna let my belly be happy one last time since I'm bringing the bf out next weekend for his early Birthday celebration! I absolutely love celebrating birthdays and take such pride in putting together a fun-filled day, which mainly involves a lot of eating.

So yes, that sums up my first half of 2014. I'm always scared and never prepared but what's life without obstacles right? I pray that God will lead me to what's right and hopefully, things will fall into place beautifully.

Growing up and saying goodbye

It's been a long while since I last blogged. So much has happened since then. I quit my job, I gained weight and best of all.... I found myself.

After months of struggling with what I wanted to in life, I've decided to pursue my life long dream of being a writer. I've yet to be employed again but that's not gonna deter me from fighting to make my dream a reality.

All along while I've faced challenges, I always tell myself "I'm never gonna shine if I know this isn't worth fighting for". It was such a huge risk, leaving my current job for uncertainty. But I will not let something like this get me down, not anymore.

I'll be 25 this year and it's my time to walk down a path I'll be calling mine.

So chase your dreams, and don't stop even when others come in your way.

New Year, New Me?

As the year comes to a close, I feel a sense of relief wash over me. 2013 wasn't the best, neither was it good. I just feel like it was a passing year for me and 2014 will be much much better than this.

So in preparation of the year ahead, I did come up with resolutions which I plan to stick by no matter how tough it can get. I've decided if you put your mind to it, you can make it through.

It doesn't bother me if people find them too easy or ridiculous, a new year allows me to have the freedom of choice and I'll be doing just that. So goodbye sad stories, hello positive me!

My 2014 New Year Resolutions:
1. Eat more Halal food.
2. Be a Pesctarian.
3. Stop using products that test on animals.
4. Adopt a bunny from a shelter.
5. Volunteer at a shelter.
6. Hoard less.

One by one, I will strike them off my list.

Visiting Vietnam

Last week, my mum and I took a short 4-day trip to Vietnam and man was it magical. We stuffed ourselves aplenty with affordable delicious food and the endless array of cafes just kept us getting hooked. Now I'm back home, nursing a terrible sore throat (from my endless pigging) and missing all the fun we had.

Thank you Vietnam, for opening my eyes to a beautiful city filled with warm hospitality and crazy good food. Thank you for being my calm against the current and for actually making me smile. Mark my words, I will be back!

Yummy Italian @ Pomodoro

Tous les Jours, my current addiction!

So Pho So Good

Mekong Delta Tour

& Goodbye

Holy Grail Beauty Products

I've tried and tested many skincare and beauty products over the few vain years of my life and FINALLY!, I have found the few items that work amazing for me.

I have always had oily, blemished skin and that takes a toll on my confidence. But after deciding to really tackle the issue, I've learnt a lot about finding what works for everyone. Even when dermatologists advise on how you should approach caring for your skin, it may not necessarily work. Most of the time, they would give medication based on what everyone else with the 'same skin' is using.

Currently, my skin isn't perfect but I don't aim for it to be. All I need is to ensure that my skin is clean. No point piling on tons of expensive skincare when your pores aren't even clear. Adding on product will only clog your pores further, causing the skin to be oily and prone to blemishes.

This may or may not work for everyone, but here's what worked for me.

Skincare

1. Clarisonic Mia 2

Let me be honest here and say the Clarisonic was HELL for me when I first got it. It was such a disappointment I almost wanted to throw it away. Instead of clearing up my skin, it made it far worse that my confidence level completely dropped.

Then I realised I could switch out brush heads, which was the perfect solution for me. Now I use the sensitive option, and wash my face with the Clarisonic at night. Reason being, after a long day at work, I've got more gunk on my face and using this just helps my skin feel squeaky clean. And yes, you can use this over spots.

2. The Body Shop Tea Tree Toner 

As I've got acne prone skin, it's important to keep my sebum at minimal. This toner really does work wonders. It sucks out any oil from my skin, leaving a clear canvas for me to work my moistouriser or mask into.

It also has healing properties, which tackles my blackheads or acne spots. So far, it's been working great at keeping oil at bay, as well as clearing up my skin.

3. Herbalife Multivitamin Clarifying Mask

If this mask ever ran out of stock one day, I might actually cry. Most masks work the first few times and then your skin gets used to it but with this, it never fails time after time. I use this twice a week to get rid of extra product on my skin, and to ease the redness on my face.

Despite containing Witch Hazel, it leaves my skin feeling smooth and supple after each use.

4. Alpha-H Liquid Gold

I use this twice a week and apply it before I go to sleep. It works amazing when your skin is feeling tired or haggard. It's not harsh and helps to smoothen and brighten your skin, which over time accumulates, improving the skin's radiance.

5. Bioderma Sensibio H2O

Best make-up remover, hands down. It really takes away ALL the product on your face, leaving no trace behind. It's simple, fuss-free and doesn't have any alcohol or oil in the product, which could be bad for sensitive skin.

I like how it takes off all my make-up in 3-4 wipes, and I need not worry about lounging around the house before taking a shower.

Make-up

I'm not a heavy make-up user. I only use what's necessary to keep my skintone even, as well as soften any harsh acne and dark eyebags (which never disappear!). Here are the products that leave me looking polished enough but not too much to look like a drag queen.

1. Maybelline Baby Skin Pore Eraser

I use this as a base before applying any other product on my face. It acts as a blank sheet, which allows greater absorption and colour pay-off for my main items.

2. Collection 2000 Lasting Perfection Concealer

This blends so well into the skin. I've come to learn that a little goes a long way and it has taken me almost a whole year to use the tiny tiny tube, even when I use it every single day. Plus, it's extremely affordable (at 3GBP, 6SGD), which makes this product one of my all-time favourites.

3. Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua

This was a gamble for me but it turned out to be worth every penny. It's extremely lightweight and gives beautiful coverage, resulting in almost flawless skin. I use the tiniest bit each time but it is enough to cover my entire face.

I use this with my Beauty Blender and it just gives my skin a healthy glow. It is expensive yes, and comes it a mighty small bottle. But I believe one can last between 4-6 months before needing to purchase a second.

4. Elizabeth Arden 8-Hour Cream 

I hate applying mascara which is why I use this to extend my lashes instead. It gives great length to my nonsense lashes, and adds volume. It's also hydrating, which doesn't dry out my lashes and nourishes it instead.

I also use when my cuticles are dry and is an amazing balm for any part of the body.

5. Christian Dior Creme de Rose Lip Balm

This feels like heaven on my lips. My lips get chapped and dry extremely quickly and this lip balm does wonders at keeping it feeling smooth without being sticky or oily. It also smells amazing, like fresh roses.

Only downside is it is pricey and I've already hit pan! I guess I might have to go easy on re-applying.

Am currently really happy with how my skincare and make-up regime is going. Most importantly, I drink lots of water to replenish any lost moisture along the way. Also, staying happy and positive helps the body's overall performance.

Where to go from here.

I've recently reached a standstill in life, not quite sure where to go. I was offered a perm position at my current workplace which is great but yet no satisfaction comes with this achievement.

I'm 24 and have no idea what my life will be like. I envy others with a clear path ahead and need not worry about their "perfectly planned future".

At 15, I envisioned myself being successful and married in a decade. I'll soon be at that age, achieving neither.

I know it's not good to hold on to dreams which never really worked but if that's all I've got, I don't plan on letting it go.

This stupid roller-coaster feeling I get everyday doesn't seem to end. I feel so detached from reality and can only hope for a better life ahead.

People tell me to be satisfied but being unhappy shouldn't come with the equation.

Tell me God, what do I do?

Dealing with negativity.

I always saw myself as a strong person who handles her emotions well. But everyone rises and falls.

I cried for the first time today because of work. It shocked me to see how vulnerable I had become, to a point where small issues will affect me greatly.

Although I didn't bawl and teared for a mere 5 seconds, my heart still hurts and this might take a while to get over. "How do I move on?", I asked myself. You just pick yourself up and do what you can.

Only consolation I can give myself is that no one is truly perfect. We can all wish to be but there is no measurement to that. All I want is to be happy when I do what I do, that's all that matters. All else is secondary to me.